Pacifica Practices Compassionate Communication

Compassionate Communication (also known as “Non-Violent Communication” or “NVC”) honors and respects the value, dignity and life force of all human beings, including children.  At its core, Compassionate Communication holds that relationships are built on respect and kindness toward basic human needs.

In education, Compassionate Communication offers simple, effective conflict resolution and and communication skills to foster an emotionally healthy classroom environment where academic excellence thrives.

At Pacifica, we don’t limit our Compassionate Communication philosophy to the classroom.  We practice this philosophy throughout our community, including with family and community governance communications.

Compassionate Communication is so important to us at Pacifica that we have a dedicated Communications Specialist on campus full time.

When conflict arises on campus (regardless of whether students or adults are involved), the following steps are implemented by any observing third party:

1. The action is stopped.
2. The third party describes what s/he saw.
3. All participants in the conflict are invited to tell their story.
4. The third party reflects back what s/he heard from each participant.
5. The third party acknowledges each participant’s feelings.
6. The third party helps each participant focus on objective observation, rather than judgment.
7. The third party helps the participants identify their feelings and needs.
8. The third party asks the participants how they plan to solve the conflict.
9. The third party listens to each participant’s ideas, reflects them back and/or offers his or her own ideas, if the participants don’t have ideas.
10. Everybody gets a chance to respond to the ideas and they agree on a plan.
11. The third party clearly restates the agreed upon plan.

An easy script to keep in mind when acting as the third party mediator is:

1. What happened?
2. How did it make you feel?
3. What needs are being met or not being met?
4. What will you do now?

Compassionate Communication on campus is not optional.  It is mandatory and all members of our community are expected to step in and act as third party mediators whenever conflict is observed.  Questions about Compassionate Communication and Pacifica’s policies can be directed to our dedicated on-campus Communications Specialist.

For more information on how you can practice Compassionate Communication at home to further reinforce and support what your child is learning at school, read What You Can Do At Home To Support Your Child’s Experience At Pacifica.